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Single in the UK? Don’t look up to other people’s relationships

As if we didn’t know this already, one of the country’s leading high court judges has come out in a statement encouraging UK singles to keep their feet firmly on the ground and have reasonable expectations when it comes to marriage long term relationships.

Single in the UK Jealous of their relationship

In the UK (and elsewhere) it’s common for people, especially young people, to look up to celebrity marriages and aspire to have the same sort of fairytale romance they seem to have. Of course this is almost as bad as expecting things to be like Hollywood rom-coms, but because we’re supposedly dealing with real people, it’s easier to fall for the glamour and magic of the weddings, the sparkle in the gossip columns, etc...

But the Jude, Sir Paul Coleridge, says divorce rate among celebrities is twice as high as that of us “normal” people. I can only imagine how difficult it is to keep a relationship going when you’re in the public eye. Try, for a moment, to picture all the relationship trouble you’ve had and now imagine going through all that when you’re in the public eye, with paparazzi and gossip columnists following your every move. Sounds a bit like hell!

Thing is, most of us (at least those of us over a certain age) have read enough gossip columns in our time to know that many celebrity marriages are dreadful, as well as short-lived. On the other hand, I’m pretty sure every single one of you single folk (no pun intended) has made the equally unhelpful mistake of looking at the seemingly successful relationships of friends and family members and feeling the same sort of envy?

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with being inspired by other people’s love for each other, be they celebrities or people we know. On the other hand, you can never tell what goes on between two people, even if you think you know them really well. I’ve seen far too many relationships fall apart that I’d thought were the vision of perfection. There is no perfection. Relationships take work and dedication, they take a certain amount of self-awareness to do well, which many people don’t have. So instead of looking up to other people and feeling hard done by, work on yourself, keep your eyes on the prize of finding someone you can share your life with and don’t let yourself be discouraged by fairytale relationships that are actually probably not at all what they seem.

By Shimrit Elisar



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